My Little Blue Notebook

Too long. Just way too long. The real blog post I am currently working on has evolved into an unmanageable monster. I keep trying to capture it, train it, cage it. While that work continues I'll answer a question I sometimes get asked by fictional characters I create in my head when I need a segway in a blog post.

The question is: What exactly do you scribble in that little blue notebook of yours?

That's an excellent question Fictional Character. That notebook is just random thoughts and observations that crave to be shared. Here's a glimpse:

• That cashier made the conscious, deliberate decision to take the time, effort, and commitment to rock that long, feathered hairstyle this morning.

• Brave Guy on the dance floor - you have that first or second date look to your interactions with that girl. My advice to you would be: if you're going to so clearly display a lack of rhythm maybe you don't do it to Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing.

• I attended a senior citizen holiday party and three days later was in a bar filled with twenty-somethings. Same number of sparkly sequined tops and women struggling to walk in heels at both places.

• "Dream Loud" Saw that phrase somewhere and loved it.

• That's a lot of head and no chin.

• If you insist on bringing your conversation over to my area of the bookstore I will think some advice at you. Bearded Guy, your female friend is trying to be nice and explain your rambling, boring, drawn out, story about girl troubles might possibly be a hint at why females don't seem to find you interesting. She's being polite and using words like thoughtful, chatty, detailed, and “so much to offer” when she’s trying to say, “less talky-talky.”

• Think I may have had too many Coors Light tasting kisses and not enough sunshine kisses.

• Yes sir, that’s quite an impressive belly you’ve assembled there. I am especially awed with that T-shirt you’ve chosen to wear out in public today that lets it peek out the bottom to get a little fresh air.

• 7.5 My score to the teenage girl that just blew a snot rocket right outside the supermarket door. Sound was a 10, velocity a 9, but lost points on the distance. Keep training!

• If you can scratch your ear with your big toe you do NOT belong in the same Beginner Yoga class as me. Go take Super Stretchy Uber-Yoga and stop setting up your yoga mat right in front of me. I feel I am in the correct "flexibility-of-a-file cabinet" class.

• Random blog-flipping taught me some of the topics that everyone and their mother (quite literally, it’s a lot of mothers) have covered so I never need to: wedding planning, photography, cooking (including baking, healthy, new diets, and everything in-between,) and especially my-kids-are too-cute/funny stories. Since I don’t possess any of those skills it’s a lot easier for me to leave it to the thousands of other blogs on those topics.

• Sometimes when assaulted with too much crazy being fired at me I hear Captain Kirk in my head demanding, “Crazy Deflector Shields to Full Power.” Sometimes it works; sometimes Scotty just can’t provide enough power.